Social awareness

I live my life by this set of rules I have invented for myself. I choose to follow every rule or change one when I need to. 

I choose to let my crooked posture show the striking pain in my back. I choose not to show when I'm hurt in another way. I choose to drag my feet. To bite my nails. To be overweight. 

I choose to be the person who I am, even when I don't particularly like this person. I choose to open up and shut out. I choose to speak and to be quiet. 

It is my choice to never dance or smile. I hate the wrinkles that laughing can give me. I choose the things to like and not.

I choose to love the person whom I love, to get annoyed at him, to let him love me and be mad at me. 

I choose to walk the streets at night in winter and pretend it's spring. To watch the cars. To blink at the lights. I choose to have a narrative and a soundtrack for every moment of my life as I watch same life go by and have a life of its own. 

Being raised to be completely free, I chose to live my life by a playbook. Today I'm always brutally aware that I live. It sucks.